Its a new dawn….a new day

Today is the first day of 2010. do you feel different?  I do…  Yesterday I said:

“Tomorrow morning you will wake up and it will be 2010 and nothing will have changed, except for you. Dont be discouraged….you had a whole year in 2009 to make mistakes. give it time in 2010 for your internal changes to be made manifest….Change is a slow process and starts on the inside”

I didnt know then that I was speaking to my own life. See, there’s nothing special about the last day of December/First day of January. It’s just a marker in time that shows us the transition from one segemt to the next. And as such, it is a time when we view our lives in retrospect and see how far we have or have not come; how we have succeeded, failed, and lived up to expectations.  And as I looked back over my entire 2009 and beyond in a single moment, this morning, I was both proud and disappointed. I have made many mistakes over my life and there was no shortage of those in 2009.  Nonetheless, I am where I am due to my successes AND my failures. so, while I could have done some things better, I have no regret.
I have no new year’s resolutions, but I am making some life changes.

This past year I dealt much too closely with other people’s issues. I’m done with that. I’ve had to relearn the fact that people will take advantage of your kindness if you let them. Not only this year, but moving forward from here I will no longer put my own needs, ambitions, dreams on the back burner so that others can use my resources to survive on.  No more roomates who can’t pay rent, unreliable partners, people who borrow money and dont pay it back, etc…. “I’ma do me” is the mantra for my life from this moment forward.  I forgot for a minute that it’s not my job to save the individual. I am not a superhero, I am an artist. My lot in life is to change the world on a regional level…that’s my calling and that’s where my passion lies.

In 2010 and beyond, I will take better care of myself mentally, physically, spiritually and professionally. I understand now that I have to let go of some things that make me happy, because they hold me back and stifle me from making proper decisions.

Welcome to 2010….

~Teddi B

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